I Have Never

During my college orientation we played an ice breaker game called “I Have Never.” I don’t recall the rules of the game exactly, but basically you go around the group finishing the statement “I have never…” For example:

I have never been on a roller coaster with a height restriction over 3 feet.

I have never liked pumpkin pie. Something about the damp-mushiness makes my stomach turn.

I have never traveled by train.

I have never been to Disney World.

I have never texted.

Oh wait! Yes I have! We finally broke down and got texting a month ago.

I have never had a fake Christmas tree. This year might end up being our first.

I have never gone fishing.

I have never gone snow mobiling or ATV-ing.

I have never seen a moldy brownie.

I have never known a pan of brownies that has existed for longer than 2 days.

I have never turned a brownie down.

(Can you tell I’m craving brownies???)

On the other hand, you might be surprised to know:

I have driven a stick-shift car. Three times. In a parking lot. It was a blast… and a bust.

I have sang in front of people. Twice. The first time was when I was little as special music in church. I remember an older gentleman in the church telling me, “Don’t worry about it, you sounded fine.” I wasn’t worried at all about it. I sang my heart out. And never sang in front of people again until I got roped into a solo during a church play in highschool. My character was supposed to sing atrociously. I think I nailed it.

I have sewn a pair of pajama pants. They were perfectly tailored to fit someone with one leg longer than the other.

I have written and illustrated a book. It was called “Baliry” and I was 8 when I wrote it. I was really into the American Girls books and decided to write my own. Except I made up her name, because I thought Baliry sounded prettier than Valerie because it sounded like ballirina. Coincidently, Baliry was a ballirina.

I have failed multiple tests in college! If you know me, this is kind of shocking, because I still managed to graduate Suma Cum Laude.

I have taken the mirror off my parents’ car side-swiping a semi while fumbling to grab something from the back seat.

Huh… looking over this, I’m not sure what’s more depressing: what I have never done or what I have done! I’ll let you be the judge of my pathetic-ness score.

Thank you, good night.